Panda EYES with BETH~~

This few days really not enough time for me to rest..>.<
  Monday took MC..
but thn..wat happened??
*woke up by CHERRY TAN..& SANSAN YONG.. 
*hang out with my lovely gang~♥sunway*
*have a nap with my lovely CHERRY at boey's bed..XD
*dinner at kaki corner for my didi (EDISON) birthday..
          reached home around 1a.m @.@


 Everyone get shocked on my face..*even myself too*

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!
               HORRIBLE!!!
                SCARY~~!!!


        PIMPLES OUT JOR~~!!!
             EYES BAG!!
                DARK CIRCLE SURROUND MY EYES!!

*even myself aso felt disgusting whn i look at d mirror..*wat a ugly pig*

i felt weird of..
i slept tight and well whn sharing bed with shin..♥
lol..i think i have a problem..XD
i can't sleep well and tight whn alone..but i do with shin..
lame to myself..=.='''


THE MIRACLE~
    after an overnight with shin..
  i found that my dark circle get brighter..
    shin is my GOD!!
hahas...XDD
SHIN...sei mou??
without u,my dark circle will naughty...lol...




whn in d office..

     DAMN sleepy...@.@

and i keep making mistakes..
some more my colleague told me that i'll be very VERY VERY busy after my boss back..-.-''
MY GOD!!
i've bring my *blur* mood and look to d office everydays..
really worry and scare of doing wrongly again and again..
 BUT BETH
*dun think too much..
*try ur best..^^


i'm learning to summit all those
*KWSP
*PCB
*SOCSO
    *etc...


i'm going to mad of it..
but feel not bad..cos i really learn lots from here..


GOOD LUCK TO MYSELF!! 

-end-♥

Cheap~

today i wanna say thank you to the man i loved before...
First.. Ng Chen Yuan
Second.. Liew Chee Ken

cos u two makes me realized that i'm stupid and cheap..
but just for u two..

honestly..
i've never been so sacrifice for a guy besides u two..
so..thank you so much...of telling me that i'm really stupid..=D

today happened something weird...
i let a *stranger* fetch me home..
but i noe he is yuan and ck's friend..just not really noe him well...
anyways,thanks so much...and the dinner..=)

suddenly think of..
dun say it out before i did it..
just like i won't love next?
nono..
i just haven't remove someone in my heart..
and my heart was full...
sorry that can't put u in yet...
hmmm...this sounds good..^^

my face getting worst nowadays of less sleep..
keep outing...
but i got reason..
XD  haha...
and now no need to do so d..
slowly recover*ing*
love is blind..
love is drug...
i hate drug.>.<


i need a real happiness from my real man..
but i'm not rush for it..


i need all my friends to let me feel of hapiness ^^

muax to my fruity~~!!

end-♥

natural reaction..

mayb u'll feels that i'm really crazy..
but this is wat beth always do..*crazy*
          guess wat..
i add him as friend AGAIN...

well..
i dun think so he will approve me as friend back..
but this is wat my NatUraL REACTION...

i dun wanna lie to myself that i'm still missing him...
still loving him...
but i think i won't choose to be back with him..
cos the hurts from him to me..too deep..really DEEP

this few days keep on thinking and dreams of him...
not i wanna think so is out of control..
mayb later i will get used to it..
and..hope my tears will stop while i really feel of it...

just wanna let u noe..
  i really miss u~~♥



end♥

my BRAIN!!!!!!!!

my brain still ok i think..
wat shud i write now..?
talk bout him i feel like..ntg else to say d..
talk bout myself..kinda bored..*cos just think bout him*

well..
i think i'm still beth..
friends really important in my life...
now,i can't live without fruity..
especially shin and carmen as well..
if i didn't have u girls and guys staying beside me..
i think i'll life in ipoh d..*tanjung rambutan*

still in d emo mode..
ntg to say right now..
thx for view...


end

the Nights & the Days~

few days didn't touch my blog..
i read back the DELETED post..
feel kinda weird.. lol...
haha...

guess wat..
i keep on think of him again..=.='''
i think my ji mui going to be speechless after this..
sorry to my brain..
i think i've really lost control...
so...just let it be ba...
i hope and wish he could find a perfect gf ASAP...
(so that i can noe that he ady fall for someone..)
and those memories between us got someone take part of mine..
so..i can keep it deep in my heart,and just keep it..
won't take it out no more...
but..can i really do that??

XD *dun think so* i need time...
but u'll always on my mind..(dun worry)
yea...the one i saying is u..(K.L)

i dreamed bout u..but forgot wat story of that..
i'll just talk bout u on my blog..
ps:teng~~ dun tell othrs yea..*i noe u're free to read my blog..XD


out of mind..
the night in club..
i've totally tired and the weird thing is..
no feel at all..
and after a nap,
i woke up and straight away find cherry..
and told her.. *i miss him*
lol...i'm funny...
haha...

the day...
the road of shah alam...makes me recall back ur house..
hmmm....sooner and later..i wanna get used to all of this..
cos..i've noe that u love me no more..
but i'm still waiting miracle to happen..^^

merrry x'mas to u..
*cos i dunno how to wish u by othrs way..*

merry X'MAS to all my lovely BABE~
*san
*shin
*teng
*carmen
*yeng
    &
*vickey~~

mUAXXXX!!!
-end-

Deleted~

today,i've done a best thing for myself..
which is..
REMOVED KENNY LIEW FROM MY FB FRIENDS LIST!!

not with angry..but with hope..
stupid me that still believe a guy still loving me..*but it's obviously nope*
and i knew that i was lying to myself all this while..*STUPID*

an obvious with..
no calls..
no texts..
no care..

but y i still believe and wait for him?
i aso dunno and not sure...
  (FORGET IT)

dun misunderstand of removed u from my fb..
cos i'm too care bout ur stuff and..
i'm too busybody of u..
i dun wanna hurt myself no more..
so...i've choosed to remove..
although i dunno wat u told ur friends bout this relationship..
but i hope it's not those *lies*...

as ur gf..
i really and ady done my part..
mayb sometimes makes u felt i'm not mature enough...
same as u..u did do something childish sometimes..
but u won't realize..
cos it's ur naturally action..
so..
pls dun think u're mature enough..
we still young and still with the heart of *play*
 

now..i just wanna post the future..
no more past!!

FINALLY AWAKE..


FROM NOW ON..NO MORE PAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

end ♥

1st day of work~!!

hmmm..kinda blur with..
not enough sleep+contact lens makes my eyes get swollen~!!
but feel good of being an admin..^^

i think of~
something bout him..*date*
something he wants..*me to be his admin*
something we used to be..*smile 2gthr all the time*
everything bout us... i failed to avoid today..

but this time is kinda happy and heart not really pain..
cos i've plan to write it out in my lovely blog~

kinda selfish thinking..
i hope after i wrote this..u'll read it..
selfish of..hope u'll come back..
but not now..cos after break off ..
i think alots..and understands lots too..
changed to be more matured..
and i'll keep this up cos i like this feeling of myself..

*DaRl..
i just wanna let u noe that i'm still loving u
&
i'll wait u to come back..^^
*DON"T GET MAD OF MY FB*


few days ago~
lost control of tears again..^^
no point to say this..
but from this..
makes me wanna say something to shin..

SHIN..
thanks for everything..
u're different from othrs in fruity..
u won't give any comments of my love story book..
(cos u noe i won't listen up frm others for my own relationship)
u won't scold me by u saw i cry after i promised not to cry..
my lovely shin..i wanna tell u..
i'm willing to be ur part of life
&
promise not to leave u alone..
BESIIDES HIM..I LOVE U MOST!!!
shin~lent me ur life in my friendship world..can?
be with me and try our best to achive our dreams..
shin..sorry that maked u worry bout me..
now i'm just trying to be more independent..
before this too *yi lai* bf and friends...
now no more for me..i wanna cure myself...^^
thanks babe..for supporting me all this while..

i noe..
he still love me in his heart..
my ji mui really sayang me with the true heart..
all my bestie supporting me all this while..
i noe all this by heart..cos u guys won't tell or show..
but feel it is more than this...

i LOVE u guys!!!
muackssX!!!

for u..joshua lee...

from u..

*After this weekend, and you're on your own..
I did my part by helping you and I dont expect anything in return.
Just doing u a favor.. We're two different people travelling two different ways.. And we can't bring back what had already past..
D glass is already broken, eventough i put my effort fixing it back.. The crack is still there..... So Take care and good luck..*

 

 

to u..

u're really a good guy..*dun ask y i dun wan if u're good*

cos..i'm not the one u need and want for ur future..

i'm a bad gf toward u..i admit..

u're really good to me..

but i really hope we can be like normal friend now..

can u promise me of this?

we really enjoy the moment we spend togethr with our friends..

i hope u understand my meaning of this..

i really hope we can do and achive our plan of travelling..

but if u got any hard feeling of this..for sure u can say *no* to us..

shua..thank you very very very much..

p/s:u'll always in my mind..cos u've gave me lots of memory with the 2years time..

 

be my friend forever..sista~ ^^ ♥

alone to avoid

i wanna be alone cos i dun wanna think bout him no more..
for me..whn i'm with friends,they will reminds me of him...
and shua..pls dun too care bout me..i'm not used to it..
treat me like normal will do..
tq..no hard feeling yea..

whn i saw his name in my fb i felt to press but i've control my finger..
hmmm...i saw my inbox and the words from him *can u give me few days time?*
and that time i replied *sure*..
but at last i failed..
i really feel that is my fault..
sorry to myself..
and..i dun wanna talk bout this in front of my friends no more..
cos i dun wanna let thm feel that it's his fault...
hmmm...it's my problem as well..
and now..i've choosed to be single..and..single..
and like wat he said i like to show everything on FB..
now oni i realized that i'm kinda purposely post all those posts...
really feel bad of that..
from now on..
i wanna be back myself!!!
b4this post cos of him..*just wanna let him noe wat happened on me on the day*
but now oni i noe..not every guy will focus on it..
but i'm just letting him feel that i'm annoying..
cos everyone noes that i'm his gf..and i'm letting everyones noes that we r quarrelling..
i'm really stupid and useless...
sorry...it's over..
sorry..it's too late..
sorry..i dun wanna fall in love at the moment...
sorry..pls dun make me feel u like or fall for me again..
TQ..

it's too late~~

it's too late for me..
now oni i noe wat u want..
human do need to chill our self b4 we do or decide..
but now oni i noe it's too late..
and i aso dunno wat can i do..
wanna talk with u but worry that will disturd u..
and i think now is not the time to chat bout this for u..
job more important..it's true..and this is the one of the reason i like u..

u said u very fan bout this

and now busy for year end summary in the office all the way

actually i dun mind that u're busy for job and hang out with friends to relax.

all i want just need a very simple msg or call oni..at least let me noe that i'm in ur heart today..

although i noe i'm always thr..

but u didn't even tell me wat's happening and just leave me all alone with just a word of we need sometime to chill

sommore..u always said i don'tunderstand u..how am i gonna understand with no conversation and communicate with a person...

i noe wat u want is a understanding gf..

wat i can do is just wait with happily..^^

i won't think bout the result no more..

and i'm going to start my new life~

wee~~~  ♥

Penny Tai - 你要的爱 (with pinyin and meaning)

i like ur cruel~^^

thx for the cruel darl..
i noe y u leave me alone..
u want me to be independent..
u dun wan me to out with u always..
and u noe it will become a bad habit for me..
although i can't make sure is't ur thinkng..
but as the kenny liew that i knew like to do this..
and i noe u really care bout me..
i think u've been suffering for the days u leave me alone..
mayb u felt lonely too..
but it's good for me..so,u just let it lone like that..
i hope this is wat u trying to do..

and i've promised to myself that i won't find u b4 i start my job..
i noe that u dun wanna let me answer the question from ur family of
*today didn't work?*
i think this is the most annoyed u..
but my darl..
did u think of my transport problem for an interview??
i hope u're the one who fetch me to interview..
but...i do wat i meant..
wait me ba babe.. <3
love u~!!

lost control..lost myself...

                    sorry FRUITY..
                beth useless...



      i can't control my tears today.. T.T
     cos i miss him so much..very much...
     a song makes me remind of our memories..
     i just can remember the way he treated me good..
     and i've forgot the hurt he gave to me...
      but the way i make myself cry i do...


 shin said i'm unfair....
yea..sorry shua..
i admit that i didn't treat u like wat i did to him b4...
i'm sorry..but i really fall for him...
it's all after we broke up..i swear!

can i have my fruity with me  now??
i need u girls..
i've ready to accept any words from him..
and afterall i really need u all by my side..
i dun wanna be emo..
shin..i'm sorry that i can't be back myself at the moment...
but i promise to be back a *kai xin guo* whn i'm *back*
sorry fruity..
i've lost myself..

i love kenny liew..
i hope he can understand my feeling right now..
i hope he share evrything of him with me..
i hope i can be the perfect gf that he want..
i hope my hopes can be a real now..
cos i really hope it..

really sorry that i brole my promise to my fruity..T.T

• i'm so sorry... pls forgive me..=(

for my LOVELY FRUITY GANG~~

i'm glad to have all of u to be with me and as my ji mui..
*san
*Shin
*teng
*Carmen
*yeng..

 although we do fight and quarrel for some stupid thing somethime..
but we really meant for our ji mui and we'll sad of being like this..
luckily we'll still be back together..
just like a puzzle..won't be unmatch forever..
*promise dun lost ur piece of puzzle*

 for SAN..
i noe ur situation right now is very hard to stand strong..
but fruity will stand with u..
beth will support u..
ur family will love u..
he is really not bad but just too *SUCKS* like wat carmen says..
and u can just ignore the girl cos it's not her business..
san must stand for it yea..
ur tears very heavy on my shoulder..
and i'm tired to save ur tears..^^

tO SHIN..
 shin..u're the one who always appear on my mind whn i'm sad..
dunno y it's become my habit..pity u..cos u'll be the one i'll look for..haha..
but i hope u'll share ur stuff with me too..cos i lab u..
well..u and him it's ady a *real*..
the way u can do is..to be continue or to stop...
but honestly..it's dangerous..
and i'm worrying..
hope u can decide with no regret..
hate the way u are now..
but dun hate ur life..
tomorror will be better..
and i'm trying my best to be back myself.. ^^

for TENG~
u.................
i'm speechless..cos i noe u will do watever u want to be..
no one can stop u..
but mayb afterall u'll hug us and say u've regret..*but i dun hope this will happen*
actually we not wanna say u or scold u..
but think more and properly b4 u do it..
ur man is really good enuf..
cos..at least he shows his love to u..
and so..u can feel it..
this is a very hard to get in this world..
U MUST APPRECIATE!! ok?????!!!!!!!!!!

to CARMEN..
we noe each othr for a long time..
and i've shocked that u really angry bout ur ex..
but i've promised not to touch this anymore..
how bout now?
lost ur freedom??
whn u have this kind of feel..it means..
u not ready for this relationship yet..
or u just got feel with him..not like or love him...
cos whn u really loved someone..u won't have this kind of feeling...
i'm still the one who always with u..since the day we r friend..
try to talk to him nicely and slowly explain..
if he really love u he will let u be wat u want to..
hope u'll success.. ^^

lastly YENG~~*
my lovely yeng..
i really hope to be with u forever and ever...
although i'm not really noe bout u and that guy..
but i noe and trust u...
by the way..hope he will appreciate u..^^
and hope u'll get wat u want to..
sometimes must share with me..
cos it seems like i've lost in ur world..
i dun wanna have this feeling..u noe??
cas i got lots of *secret* wanna share with u.. XD


 all my sexy babes..
beth really love u girls so much..
whn i sad thr's some call from u girls..i felt warm...
whn my tears dropping..thr's some shoulder with me..i felt touched..
whn i'm alone..thr's someone texting with me..make me feel that i'm not alone..
fruity will till the day we step in our coffin..
 even in hell or heaven aso must meet up yea..

*remember our promises to each other*
          beth really can't live without u~*

the fuck night..

to vickey..i shouldn't ask u out for tea to9.. sorry babe..
i really wanna slap him just now..but i control myself..
i can't believe that a guy can treat a girl like this..
he makes me feel to say (FU*K)
can't stand for it..

u really need to report police for ur own secure..
i'm really very worry bout u..
if can i hope i'm a guy to protect u and my fruity as well..
and not being a girl just letting guys hurt us like this..
too bad to say this..that guy really useless and BRAINLESS!!!

i'm happy that i'm lucky of i've didn't meet this kind of guy be4
and i DON"T HOPE TO MEET in my life..
but unfortunately my dear vickey met up..
wish u get off from this kind of SILLY DOG!!

 THE FEELING OF TO9 OUTING..
long time didn't scold that much bad words..
long time didn't be that rude..
long time didn't get angry till wanna hit ppl..

this makes me feel that i'm *lala*..
lucky just the few minutes..
for me..they are really childish...
haiy.. speechless..
 love really funny...
 it can raise u up and pull u down with no reason..
all in sudden with a simple thing..
how stupid in love?
no one noe..
cos everyone being stupid right now~~*

SOrry dARL..

after a cold down for myself..i think i noe wat to do d..
yea..i admit that i've forcing u by asking wat hapened..
so sorry by that..
i think i noe wat u want..and i noe that is all bcox i'm too free..
i need a job..to let myself busy and fight for my future..
in this relationship i've leart to be patient..and i did it..
wish i can get a job as soon as possible..^^
              u need ur time
            i'll wait for u
             i'm yours..dun worry..
           i won't run away from u..
               i trust u..i hope u trust me too..
            i won't make u feel that i'm annoying anymore..
          let u think think how important u r for me..
              i wanna let u feel that i need u..
darl..really sorry to gek u all this while..
     I LOVE U

another few days to chill..

i'm in stress too..
i'm a human that jobless for almost 1year..i'm really felt useless on myself..
whn u say i dun understand u that time..who understand me thn??
mummy keep on ask me work..whn i wanna interview,i was thinking how to go?
i noe everyones will feel that i'm lazy to work but no one noe i really wanna work..but just transport problem..
u said i used to force u..
i really dunno how to continue this relationship no more..
can i ask for stop??
but i'm afraid of regret..so..i just let it be like wat u want..
wat can i do now??
i wanna forget the pain and start my new life..
search for jobs..start it and go for it..
i love u but u said i'm forcing u...

scared of love..
dun wanna love d..very pain..really pain...

2months anniversary

wondering..do u remember this?? our anniversary..
nvm..i do remind u by the text i've send to u just now..
are u thinking to continue our relationship or to stop it??

from rthis incident makes me realize that i've something wanna let u noe..
*i really fall for u
*i still loving u
*i really love u

but i do have some question that on my head..
r u really get off bout ur ex?
r u really love me now? or just the feeling drop by and now no more..?
r u sad for this time chilling..?
did u care bout my feeling b4 u did it?
am i the 1 u loving and need now??

i care bout u cox i love u..
i'm still TRUST u whatever happen..promised!

daRl,happy 2months anniversary..
*HOPE EVERYTHING WILL BE SETTLE ASAP*
a relationship is all about teamwork.if u felt like doing all the job in a relationship then i hav 2 say that u need 2 'pass the ball' cuz if you are thinkin of goin solo then y be in a relationship?for those who is doin all the job,then pls 'pass the ball' and if those not doing any job then let him/her noe that u are... able to 'handle the ball'. teamwork is important because it takes more than 1 effort to win a game

am i under controling by myself...??

today had an outing with vicki..i've went for an interview at ioi...but haven't get to comfirm yet..
tears drop today but not as much as last two days..
i've control myself from dropping tears and contact u..
i really dunno wat i've done wrong and u just leave me alone like this.. *DO U NOE HOW PAIN AM I?*
today feel much more better..last two days really felt hard to breaathe...
at last..u didn't find me for the whole day.. ...

the chill night~

30/11/2010
i've cried for the whole day..
actually from yesterday night i ady start crying..
i'm a girl who not easy to let my tears drop..but i did cos of u..
i really dunno wat happened..and this makes me feel worry..
i've called shin*cherry* for a talk..and cried,she get shocked and said;the cry frm me scared her cos i'm not use to cry..
well..a cry can make me feel better..but it's aso can make me feel the pain..
i dun understand y everytime quarrel u'll said that i'm not understand u..
that's y i said i really dun understand u and u didn't give me a chance to understand u..
btw,how much do u understand me thn..??
a relationship needs TRUST,FAIR & HONEST..
how much have u done in this three??
mayb i'm a bad gf..cos i dun understand u at all..*as u think*


whn i'm crying..all my friends and buddy who besides me and comforting me..
and u're enjoying with ur friends in neway..
i can tell u honestly,i didn't blame anyone cos it's all my fault..i aso dunno which part i've done wrong..
as a gf..i dunno wat can i do anymore..
as a girl..i just can say myself that is too cheap..too stupid and too silly...
it's really a sad and bad day for me..
dun wanna think and dun wanna take any action anymore..cos i'm afraid u'll ask for break up...
but i can't avoid cox it will makes me feel more worst...
wat shud i do thn...??
*JUST LET IT BE*